15. Owning Your Power Without Apology: Dismantling Self-Sabotage and Stepping into Full Leadership with Larissa Conte
Alright, Hive — this one's electric. I’m sitting down with Larissa Conte, one of the most soul-shaking, powerhouse minds I know in redefining leadership and tapping into true, unapologetic power. Larissa is the founder of Wayfinding, a movement that’s rewriting our relationship with power, helping us claim it with integrity, and empowering leaders to show up as the most potent, authentic versions of themselves. This convo is exactly what we need to quit dimming ourselves down and finally play full-out.
We’re diving deep into why so many of us, especially the heart-centered ones, secretly believe power is “bad” and end up sabotaging ourselves without even realizing it. Larissa is here to lay it all out—the fear of “getting too big,” the hesitation to shine, and how we’ve been taught that playing small keeps us safe.
Spoiler: It’s time to flip that script. Larissa takes us straight to the heart of it, breaking down the two main types of power—shadow power and power that serves the whole—so you can spot exactly where you’re holding back and make the choice to unleash yourself fully.
And for the mamas building businesses while raising babies, Larissa’s story about reclaiming power through some of life’s toughest moments will hit right where it needs to. Whether you’re a biz mama or a visionary ready to claim your seat at the table, get ready to be lit up.
In This Episode, We’re Getting Into:
Why heart-centered, visionary leaders sabotage themselves around power—and how to break this pattern for good (13:05)
The two kinds of power: shadow power (hello, self-doubt!) vs. power that serves the whole—and why it matters (21:50)
How to redefine “power” so you’re leading from a place of grounded truth and fierce integrity (33:40)
Larissa’s own story of facing extreme life challenges, near-death moments, and how it all shaped her path (44:18)
The crucial role of having “power partners” when growing through big shifts, in biz and life (52:00)
Why sometimes the next best biz move is to stop planning and start trusting yourself (1:05:22)
How to bring these power practices into your team culture for deeper connection and stronger results (1:18:33)
Why Are We Afraid of Power in the First Place?
If you’re in biz to change lives, light up the world, and serve with heart, chances are you’ve got a complex relationship with power. Maybe you hold back on your big ideas, second-guess your rates, or hesitate to shine as bright as you know you can. And why? Because somewhere deep down, you’ve been conditioned to believe that being powerful means being “too much,” or worse, becoming someone who takes from others instead of giving.
Larissa explains that these patterns go back generations, rooted in centuries of systems that taught us to see power as “power over” others, as dominance or control. We’ve been trained to believe that power means taking something, and this belief holds us back from realizing the kind of world-changing, soul-fueled impact we’re truly capable of. We stop ourselves from stepping up, saying “yes” to our wildest dreams, and claiming our seat at the table, because we’re afraid of the very thing that’s meant to propel us forward.
What’s the Real Cost of Playing Small?
If you’re avoiding power, you’re avoiding your highest potential. It’s that simple. Every time we shrink back, every time we downplay our gifts, or let self-doubt have the final say, we’re not just holding ourselves back. We’re holding back the impact, the healing, and the beauty we’re here to offer the world. And when we play small, the people we’re meant to lead, to inspire, and to support? They miss out, too.
So let’s break out of the cycle. Let’s give up this tired story that tells us we’re only “safe” when we’re shrinking and step fully into the magic that’s waiting for us.
Redefining Power as Energy, Not Control
Larissa offers a new take: power is simply the ability to move energy. Think about the ocean, a blazing sun, or even a strong wind. These forces are powerful, but they’re not controlling or manipulative. They’re just fully in their own energy.
If we start seeing power as the natural flow of our unique energy, we stop fearing it. Instead of holding back, we start asking ourselves: Where am I allowing myself to create, to share, to lead? Am I moving through the world like that powerful wave, or am I holding my power in reserve, afraid to release it?
Shadow Power vs. Power That Serves the Whole
One of the most important distinctions Larissa shares is this idea of “shadow power” versus “power that serves the whole.” These two are pivotal if you’re ready to reclaim your power without apology. Here’s the breakdown:
Shadow Power comes from a place of fear and separation. When we’re in shadow power, we either try to control others (arrogance, judgment, domination) or we give our power away through self-doubt, guilt, or the good old “who am I to be this big?” mantra. Shadow power separates us from ourselves and others, leading to disconnection, exhaustion, and eventually burnout.
Power That Serves the Whole is the opposite. It comes from connection, interdependence, and a deep respect for others and ourselves. Power that serves the whole lifts everyone, creating aliveness, connection, clarity, and regeneration. It’s the force behind leaders who inspire, elevate, and impact others in profound ways.
Here’s the real kicker: to step into power that serves the whole, we don’t have to throw away all of our “shadow” tendencies; we just need to acknowledge and integrate them. When we see our self-doubt, our fears, and our insecurities for what they are—old patterns we’re outgrowing—we can work with them, rather than letting them dictate how brightly we show up.
Getting Out of Shadow Power: How to Recognize It in Yourself
You can’t dismantle what you can’t see. So the first step to reclaiming your power is to shine a light on the ways shadow power shows up in your life. Are there places where you’re holding yourself back, or letting self-doubt run the show? Are you downplaying your gifts, sidestepping opportunities, or staying silent on things you know you’re meant to say?
This isn’t about self-judgment. It’s about awareness. When we bring these patterns into the light, we get to choose whether we’re going to keep letting them hold us back—or if we’re finally ready to walk with them and move beyond them.
Reclaiming Power with Integrity: A Roadmap
Once you’re aware of where you’re giving away your power, the next step is reclaiming it in a way that feels true, aligned, and powerful. Here’s how to start:
Connect with Your Body and Intuition Power isn’t just a thought; it’s a feeling. Start paying attention to how your body responds in different situations. Do you feel open, clear, and expansive? Or tight, small, and disconnected? Trust that your body knows when you’re aligned with your true power and when you’re not.
Discern Between Shadow Power and True Power Notice when your inner critic or self-doubt kicks in. Larissa calls this “shadow power,” and it’s here to protect you—but it’s not here to lead you. When shadow power shows up, try seeing it as an indicator that you’re on the edge of growth. Instead of listening to it, let it be a sign that you’re right where you need to be.
Get Comfortable Being “Too Much” Oh yes, the myth of being “too much.” Society has a lot to say about how we “should” show up. But listen: what if that fullness, that brightness, that muchness is exactly what the world needs from you? What if instead of shrinking, you expanded and let yourself be seen? Experiment with letting your energy be as big as it naturally wants to be.
Surround Yourself with Power Partners Power is magnetic, and it thrives in community. Find the people who see your vision, who will call you forward, and who hold you accountable. Whether it’s a mentor, a coach, or a trusted group of peers, a strong support system reminds you of who you are when the doubt creeps in.
Define Success on Your Own Terms Let’s get real: power isn’t about achieving what society says is “success.” It’s about showing up fully, authentically, and unapologetically for your own purpose. Define success on your terms, and let that be your guiding star. The more you align with what you truly desire, the easier it becomes to stay grounded in your power.
Embracing Power That Serves the Whole
True power isn’t about you alone; it’s about what you bring to the whole. When you’re in your power, you contribute more freely, lead more boldly, and inspire others to do the same. Power that serves the whole is a powerful ripple effect—it’s the work that lifts you and those around you.
Owning this kind of power doesn’t just mean leading a successful biz or hitting big goals. It means creating change, shaping communities, and showing up as the bold, visionary self you’re here to be. Your power isn’t just for you; it’s a gift to everyone you touch. So let it flow. Let it shine.
The Courage to Be Fully Alive
Claiming your power is about saying yes to being fully alive. It’s about breaking free from fear, shame, and the limits you’ve outgrown. This is how you create a life and biz that’s deeply aligned with who you are—a life filled with purpose, joy, and a whole lot of magic.
Stop waiting for permission. Stop waiting until you feel “ready.” True power is about stepping into the unknown with the knowing that you’re exactly who you need to be, right now.
So, here’s your invitation: step up, own your brilliance, and stop apologizing for the space you take up. We need more of you, not less. We need your vision, your voice, your truth. The world needs leaders who are ready to shine. It’s your time.
Ready to Step Into Your Power?
If you’re feeling that magnetic pull, that desire to step fully into your power without apology, let’s get you there. Connect with Larissa’s work at Wayfinding.io to dive into the Power Assessment for Leaders, a tool designed to help you see exactly how you’re showing up in power.
And if you’re ready to take that next leap, get on the waitlist for my new program, Come Alive, a space designed for biz mamas who are ready to lead with heart, soul, and unapologetic power. Head over to workwomb.com/comealive and let’s do this, together. Because remember—this is a together kind of thing.
Power is your birthright, babe. Step into it, claim it, and let’s make some magic. 🔥
Where to Connect with Larissa:
Dive into her transformative work at Wayfinding: wayfinding.io
Discover your own power dynamics with the Power Assessment for Leaders: wayfinding.io/assessment
Follow Larissa on IG @lbconte or @wayfinding.io for the juiciest insights on power, leadership, and soul-centered growth
What We Mentioned:
Ishmael by Daniel Quinn— the book that cracked Larissa’s heart wide open and shifted her entire path
The Power Catalyst Activation program—Larissa’s powerhouse deep-dive for leaders ready to break free from self-doubt and step up
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💬 DM her on Instagram ➝ @workwomb (DM's are Abbi's love language!)
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